Father and Son at 4:45 AM

4:45 AM

"Honey? Son's awake."

"You're kidding me. What time is it?"

"4:45. He's got jet lag. He's only 22 months, he's confused. He thinks it's 7:45. So really, he slept late."

"Christ, Wife, it's 4:45. We shouldn't thank Sam and Laura for putting us up by waking them up at 4:45 in the morning."

"I agree. You should get up with him and take him into the living room. Entertain him."

"Right. That's a good... me?"

***

4:55 AM

"So this is the living room. That's a couch. Can you say couch? You realize you should be fast asleep for another two hours at least. You get that, right? Right?"

***

5:03 AM

"See out the window? Those are stars. Stars in the sky. The night sky. Can you say stars? Stars. In the sky. No, over here. Look out the window. The window. Over here. What are you...? What the Hell is so interesting about a drink coaster?"

***

5:11 AM

"Not time to drum. Please stop drumming. No, you can't drum on the table. Please sop drumming. Please stop- look, I said stop. Don't give me that look. I'm sorry if you don't like me grabbing your arms, but you can't drum on the- will you stop it! You're going wake everyone up! And they're going to throw us on the street! Do you want that hanging over your head? Do you? Do you?"

***

5:31 AM

"See, you try to hit the... wait, no. You can't move that one... look just, just. Hold on. You need to. Whoa! Not in your mouth! Not in your mouth! OK, you know what? I'm thinking Marbles were a bad idea."

***

5:44 AM

"Come over here a second. I want to show you something. Over here. Come here. Come here. To the window. Come here. Here. To me. No, not the fireplace. The window. Come look out the window. Come here. Are you even listening to me? I swear, when you learn language, we're going to have a long talk."

***

5:48 AM

"No, over here. The window. I want to.. what are you doing? What is that? Is that the drink coaster again? I thought I put that away. Will you... do I have to come over there and pick you up? Wait, where are you going?"

***

5:52 AM

"Well I'm sorry, but you can't open and close the kitchen cabinet drawers. They're loud. They'll wake everyone up. Don't give me that look. And stop kicking! Look, I don't want to be awake right now either, so let's just get through this together, OK? Now come here and look out the window."

***

5:53 AM

"See that out there? It's called darkness. Because it's way too early to be awake. Do you understand? Don't you wish you were asleep? Sleep is your friend. How do you go from this waking up at 4:45 in the morning thing to the teenager who sleeps til noon? When does that happen? Will you be sure to let me know when that happens? I'm so going to wake your ass up at 6 AM. You wait, Mr. You just wait."

***

6:07 AM

"We dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig the whole day through. We dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig that's what we like to do. Come on Grumpy, sing with me."

***

6:22 AM

"I love you, Son. You're my Son. I'm your Daddy. If anyone ever asks you, "Who's your Daddy?" that's me. Though you probably won't be asked that. You'll say that. Don't say that, it's so tacky. Your sister has a Daddy. Think about that. Just, think about it."

***

6:38 AM

"Ooo! Look!Light! Check that out! It's getting light? Do you see that? Do you see the light? Do you.. where'd you go? Son? Where are you... GET AWAY FROM THE CHINA CABINET!"

***

6:52 AM

"Are you as bored as I am? When do these people get up, anyway? Hey, you want to start drumming on something?"

***

7:03 AM

"Morning."

"Morning, Sam."

"How'd you guys sleep? Did we give you enough blankets? Up early, too, huh? Jet lag? Yeah. That sucks. I'm usually still asleep til around 7:30 but I've got a meeting this morning, so I had to get up early. How long have you guys been up?"

"..."

"What was that?"

"I hate you, Sam. I hate you."